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So Here’s the Thing...

I’ve been back home for more than a week and I haven’t felt like writing. Well, that’s not exactly it, but trying to clarify has made me write this particular sentence over and over again. Which is a good example of why I didn’t feel like writing. Maybe I should back up.

I did get back from a wonderful trip to New York City. We didn’t get to do everything we wanted to do in the city, nor did we create an overnight Broadway star in my tween. We did have an fantastic time and she had an excellent experience, and I’ll try to write a fuller report later.

Right after we got home, I found that an important medical consultation for my mom was going to be pushed back two weeks — unless we could make it in two days instead. That wouldn’t be a problem, except that she lives in Virginia Beach and the appointment was at Johns Hopkins in Baltimore. So instead of a week of rest following our fun-but-exhausting trip, I was getting the house ready and then hosting guests.

I had a nice visit with my brother, who needed to drive my mom up to my place. My niece was a ray of sunshine. My mom was... okay. It was an overwhelming experience for her — from dropping everything to come north, to the bad luck surrounding her appointment which put in five hours of driving time for an hour’s consultation, to processing the visit with the specialist, and so on. Her stroke makes it hard for her to understand complicated things anyway, and we’ve got tough things to talk through — as many times as it takes.

We have many appointments and tests to go before I can really share more, but I can say that it wasn’t an easy week and I didn’t feel like writing. The problem is that the more I don’t blog, the harder it is to get started again. Like, at all. So I’m dumping this all out here in the hopes of clearing the cobwebs from my brain and getting going again online.

Thanks for listening.

10 comments:

Kathleen said...

I've been reading your blog for awhile but not sure I have commented before. I can relate to a blogging slump but you have a good excuse for not writing. Take the time you need and know that your readers will be here when your personal stuff has settled down and it is easier to find time to post.

Peaceful Reader said...

Your exhausted-hopefully your fire will come back. Rest and recoop.

Susan T. said...

Yes, MR, definitely take it easy and don't worry about blogging. We'll be here when you return!

Sarah Stevenson said...

Sorry to hear it, MR...I'll send positive vibes your way. I can definitely relate to having a blogging/writing slump and how difficult it can be to get going again.

In case I haven't said it yet, love the blog redesign! It looks fabulous.

Gail Gauthier said...

Pam--When things were bad in our family I often felt that I paid for any good experience I had. A couple of different times I came home from a positive work event or something good with the kids to get a phone call immediately with bad news of one kind or another. Even now, when things are much better, after running around half a day with one family member or another or cooking for one of them in the evening, I usually find myself too tired to blog a couple of evenings a week.

My favorite Buddhist writer says that change is what saves us. Nothing stays the same. At some point, things will change in a better way. At the very least, you'll get used to a new normal. You just have to keep moving forward, as you're doing. You're doing everything right.

Colleen said...

I completely understand, and that's all I'm gonna say. (Even commenting seems overwhelming at times, and I have no idea why.)

tanita✿davis said...

There's a lot of this going around - both trouble, and the inability to blog through it. Sometimes, there's just TOO MUCH going on.

I'm glad you were able to get the appointment - but I know the stress of it all must just be crashing down. We're here when the cobwebs shake out. xo

Jules at 7-Imp said...

My best to your mother, Pam.

And how great does your site look?! Woot!

Michelle said...

I've been remiss in catching up on blog reading and commenting. I'm so sorry to hear that things are so difficult and stressful right now. Know that if you ever need to escape for a little while I am but a phone call away and would love to meet up or have you over to decompress! I'm thinking of you and your family and sending all the positive vibes I can.

Ms. Yingling said...

It's been a tough reentry this year for many of us. I hope that things improve, and that you are able to get into a better mood. If nothing else, remember that the challenges of this year will make next year seem easier!