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Wednesday, March 26, 2008

A BACA First?

BACAI haven’t read The Big One-Oh, by Dean Pitchford, but I think it’s interesting that the blurbs are by Jamie Lee Curtis and John Lithgow. Dean Pitchford is himself a celebrity as a songwriter, though I would have totally cut him BACA slack because there’s no big name-recognition factor. However, now that the book’s been blurbed by two celebrities on the front cover, I feel that as the founder of Bloggers Against Celebrity Authors, I must pass on this book on principle.

(Total confession: It actually sounds kinda funny. I might have to read it on the down-low.)

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Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Yeah, Yeah, Merry Christmas

Instead of talking about the joy of Christmas, the spirit of giving, and all that jazz, I’d like to focus my attention on the little things that really bring the holiday home to me.

Of course, there’s always not getting what you wanted. In this case, not making the Brotherhood 2.0 Happy Dance video. We were disappointed. We posted a video response with the girls dancing at, yes, The Land of Little Horses. John did comment, which was nice, but too little, too late. ;^)

MR's up-doThere’s the delight of a fancy party where you know very few people and feel very old because when did the dresses get so short and the music get so loud? But, hey, at least for once in your life you’ve got an “up-do.” Gotta love complicated hair.

Christmas cookiesWhile other families bake cookies and decorate them lovingly, you make sugar cookies that you cut from the roll and cover with random bits of candy, making the whole thing look like an exercise in modern art. (Though you’re rather fond of the Mr. Bill cookie. Oh no!)

Catnip frenzyAnd what’s Christmas, really, without the cats getting stoned on catnip?

MR showing off her new BACA mugOr shameless, shameless self-promotion. (BACA merchandise is still available at the MotherReader store. Just think how fun it will be to carry the tote bag — just $14.99 — to the ALA conference or the bookstore.)

Merry Christmas to all.

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Monday, December 03, 2007

BACA’s Back, ALL RIGHT!

BACAAs president, I guess, of Bloggers Against Celebrity Authors, I try to live by the code that I created. Namely this:
As BACA members, we will strive to shun celebrity authors in the blogging world... We will, as members, avoid giving undue publicity to celebrity authors, with the possible allowance of subjecting said celebrity authors to scorn and ridicule.
Often I bypass opportunities to mention celebrity work. Other than my initial outrage about Jenna Bush writing a Young Adult book, I’ve remained quiet. At this point I have read the book, Ana’s Story, and the best — and worst — I’ll say is that I no longer believe that a ghost writer was involved.

But occasionally, along comes a book so wrong that I must employ the “scorn and ridicule” part of the BACA code. I’d be doing the community — nay, the nation — a disservice to do any less. It’s even forced me to take the MotherReader offerings to a new level, which you’ll see at the end of the post

The Alphabet from A to Y with Bonus Letter Z!So: The Alphabet from A to Y with Bonus Letter Z! by Steve Martin and Roz Chast. At first glance, such a wealth of possibility. Good title, for one. Steve Martin is an accomplished author of adult books that are pretty darn good. He’s a funny guy, a former wild and crazy guy. One can assume he’s a person in touch with his inner child.

Apparently, his inner child on hallucenogenic drugs.

I’m sorry, but as a children’s picture book, the book is bad. Bad, bad, bad. The rhymes are nonsensical, but not in that playful way that some writers can pull off. The text is more surreal, with a so-sophisticated tone. It’s hard to even pick the worst, so here’s a fairly random sample:
Clunky Clarissa, all clingy and clueless,
Left California and now she is shoeless.
WTF? On how many levels is this couplet just wrong? I’d say clunky as a body description is pretty disturbing. Clingy and clueless seem pretty adult to me, and shoeless is a pretty random rhyme for the sadly used clueless. Maybe it should have been a tip-off that several of the rhyming dictionaries wouldn’t match the word clueless with anything. Take a hint.

Another stellar writing example:
Pedro the puppy piled poop on his paws
And Papa Dog published his photo because.
Here, the inappropriate nature of this rhyme is supported by the illustration of an angry papa dog scolding Pedro while showing him the magazine cover of him proudly posing with poop on his paws. What kind of weird mixed messages are going on in this household? Can you say long-term therapy?

Which brings us to the illustrations by Roz Chast... Hmmm, don’t know that name. Hold on. Yes, New Yorker cartoonist Roz Chast. Of course, because I’ve always thought, “If only there were more New Yorker cartoons for kids.”

No, no, no! These cartoons are so wrong and sometimes even dreadfully inappropriate for kids. I’ll give her teeny, tiny props for managing to include lots of items in each illustration using the featured letter. But I can’t forgive using a drunk under the letter D. I’m not happy with the misspelled text in the balloon, “Kids! Kome back! Have some kosher kasha! I kovered it in ketchup!” or on a book on the floor, “Inglish for Idiots.” Overall, I hate that the cartoons are definitely from an adult world — even when children are featured — and are presented with a surreal quasi-sophistication that is NOT FOR KIDS.

And yes, I meant to shout that, because one thing that will force me to employ my powers of snark is when people market books to children that are NOT FOR KIDS. And all the BACA sirens are wailing because (1) people are buying this book (how sad), and (2) it would never have been published if it weren’t coming from a celebrity.

Hey, I’m not happy about this myself. I like Steve Martin. I think he’s a talented man — as an actor, yes, but I was also willing to cut him slack as a writer based on his adult books, which were pretty good. Man, he was even awarded at the Kennedy Center Honors last night.

The official CafePress MotherReader store!But I have to say it, and I have to say it loud: BACA OFF KIDS’ LIT! (That goes double for you, Roz Chast.) If you need to say it too, the MotherReader store is now open.

(The post title would be better sung to the tune of “Backstreet’s Back,” just in case you missed the reference.)

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Tuesday, October 02, 2007

Gay Penguin Love III

Hey, guess what? It’s Banned Books Week! I love this time of year, when the librarians get all charged up about banned books. Really gets our blood pumping. There was an unfortunate incident a few years back when the name of the week was incorrectly publicized as “Ban Books Week.” Given the opportunity, librarians across the country threw out thousands of copies of Guess How Much I Love You, Madonna’s The English Roses, and entire collections of Lurlene McDaniel books. Celebrity-authored books were especially targeted, making for a good day for Bloggers Against Celebrity Authors (though BACA’s official response was “no comment.”)

Of course, now it has been made clear that Banned Books Week is a time to take a look at books that come under frequent challenges for their inclusion in public and school libraries. There are other bloggers, like Bookshelves of Doom, that cover this topic extremely well. I’d rather cover it for laughs. And I find no challenge funnier than that of And Tango Makes Three, a sweet book based on a real story of two male penguins that together raised an orphaned egg. Bottom Shelf Books just did a wonderful discussion of this title, including a video of a gay marriage statement made on their behalf — well, sort of. For my part, I’ll re-post my write-up from March of last year, if you don’t mind. The reference to the Colbert show and the specific library incident is so last year, but the rest of it remains true.



And Tango Makes ThreeHow edgy am I? Just so on the cusp of what is hot, that I selected and suggested the book And Tango Makes Three mere weeks before it appears on The Colbert Report.

Apparently, a couple of parents in Missouri objected to this book being in their public library, and somehow the news feeds picked up the story. The library did not remove the book from its collection, but did move it to the nonfiction section, so it would be less likely to “blindside” somebody.

Ah, so many layers to this story. Where to even begin?

There is the sociological implication of our worries about gay penguins taking over the world. For an angry take on that, perhaps, you might go to another site, maybe Prometheus Unleashed. Though I would looooooove to go into it, that’s not what I’m about here at MotherReader.

There is the response of the library to consider, which was not wrong, but was pretty meek. I mean, two parents complain, and you move the book? What if I object that I don’t want my preschooler to inadvertently pick up a book about Noah’s Ark? Should all of those books go into the religion section? There are picture books that deal with the death of a parent or of a pet. Maybe they should all go in the section on grief? Where do you want to draw the line on what is unobjectionable? To the library’s credit, at least they didn’t get rid of the book. So that is something.

There is the mindset of the parents to explore. It is a public libary holding books for all the public. If you don’t like a book, if it offends you in some way... don’t check it out. It is really that simple. You can exercise your parental control to say, “I do not wish to read this book to my child.” So. Don’t. Read. It. To. Them.

There is the worry of introducing delicate subjects to children. Remember, parents, children will ask you questions based on what they are capable of processing, and you, as a parent, can answer accordingly. A child may listen to this book and ask why it was that two boy penguins wanted to stay together. We as parents can say, “Sometimes a man may love a man or a woman may love a woman, and they want to be together.” We do not have to go into the whole gay culture or what a man and a man do together in bed, any more then we would explain the whole bar scene or what a man and a woman do together in bed. When sex comes up with children, I would go with the “when a man and woman love each other very much...” talk, not the “when a man and a woman get drunk and they feel this special itch...” talk.

Then there is the book itself, which I stand by as a lovely, gentle story about adoption and love. You could use it as a springboard to talk about the diversity of the world, but you don’t have to do so. I would be willing to bet that four out of five preschoolers wouldn’t ask a single question about the two boy penguins. So it doesn’t need to be that worrisome. The authors told the story, they didn’t put thoughts in the penguins heads. We are making the interpretation ourselves. There is no gay penguin love agenda.

What is most important here — what we can’t forget — is how incrediblly cutting edge I am to have suggested the book in the first place.

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Monday, August 13, 2007

BACA Off Again

BACAIn light of recent events, it seemed like the BACA logo needed to be made. It pays to be married to a graphic designer.

Oh, and I’ll go ahead and reprint the original two “BACA” articles; the first, “BACA Off,” set the stage for this groundbreaking organization, and the second, “Bloggers Against Celebrity Authors (BACA),” sort of formalized it.

As founder and... what the hell, president of BACA, I probably have to talk about this whole Laura & Jenna Bush book thing. There are definitely levels of celebrity author irritation, and this announcement does hit pretty close to the top. The lowest level is for the celebrity authors whose names and books you can’t quite remember days after the press release. Like what’s-his-name with the new football picture book (I am actually thinking of a new person and picture book here). Then there are the celebrity author announcements that are so ridiculous they don’t even need the help of BACA to scorn and mock. Like ex-Spice Girl Geri Halliwell (though this guy did a knock-out job). Of course, the highest level of celebrity author irritation is reserved for Madonna, but specifically for her book Lotsa de Casha, in which the rich character learns that the path to happiness is in giving away his money. See, it’s the hypocrisy and sheer chutzpah that mark this book as a 10 on the BACA Irritation Scale.

Now, the Laura & Jenna Bush thing is in the high numbers, for sure. Maybe some will say that whatever else Laura Bush may be, she’s a teacher and a librarian, and that gets her off the hook. Not me. I tend to believe that her influence on children’s reading might best be served in the current political administration. After all, she was paraded around during the campaign circuit largely on her “education” credentials — which at least implies that she has some influence. Of course, that was likely just political posturing... which also makes the book annoying because then, you know, don’t rub it in. It also seems possible that the model for the “little boy” who doesn’t like to read is her husband — though if he ends up liking to read in the book, she’s obviously tacking on a “Hollywood ending.”

Personally, I feel bad that the books will illustrated by Junie B. veteran Denise Brunkus, because I love my Junie B. Jones books. But hopefully she can call up poor Kadir Nelson for moral support.


From a post at Big A, little a, I find that Madonna has a line of children’s clothes based on her book The English Roses. That the line has been available for some time does not change the fact that I just heard about it now. And now is when I am reacting. I’m officially sick of celebrity authors.

I could complain about the quality of the work. Oh boy, could I complain. But what’s sticking in my craw is the greed. Come on, leave us our little bit of turf. If you can be famous (and usually rich) in your field of acting or music or global domination, leave the world of children’s literature for other people to become a tiny bit famous. Because you can imagine, for every book deal these celebrities strike, that’s less of the kid-lit pie for another author trying to get a break. Do celebrities have to be so greedy to take every aspect of everything because they can? Is that a good enough reason? It’s not... it’s just not... fair.

Now, I really don’t think that actors and musicians and global dominators will stay away from this tiny territory I’d like to carve off, fence in, and defend with a shotgun. But I can dream. And to that end, I initiate Bloggers Against Celebrity Authors, or BACA, and I state today, “BACA Off Kids’ Lit!”

Join if you like, if not for me, than for poor Kadir Nelson. The man deserves an author worthy of his work, and as long as the Spike Lees of the world are around, it ain’t gonna happen.



The Bloggers Against Celebrity Authors (BACA) really struck a chord out there. I’m being asked for a logo, guidelines, and a bumper sticker. Who knew?

The logo is in the works. I hope. I’ll say no more at this juncture.

Guidelines for celebrity author exceptions is tricky. I mean, first you’re letting in Lithgow, then Julie Andrews, and next thing you know Pamela Anderson’s got a book deal (title: Who’s Your Daddy?). It’s a slippery slope. The librarian host of The Magic of Books suggested allowing no exceptions for trading on name recognition, but allowing celebrities to write a book under another name. Yeah, like that’s going to happen. But I’m signing off on that rule, because it sounds good in theory.

However, I know we probably all have our personal exception, and that will be worked into the secret handshake. So, at the June membership meeting, I’ll shake your hand, wink, and say “Lithgow.” You’ll wink, and say “Julie Andrews,” or your preferred exception. Then we’ll both smile and nod knowingly. If you don’t have a preferred exception, then you can say “Carrot Top,” because that would be the funniest exception ever. (“I don’t like the work of Jamie Lee Curtis, but that Carrot Top is going places in children’s literature.”)

Fuse#8 wondered about the benefits of membership, considering the possibility that members would have free rein to whack an offending author on the head with his or her own work. While that would be lovely, it might lead to unfortunate arrests and unnecessary back strain from having to carry around all the relevant books on the off chance that one might run into Billy Joel at the corner Starbucks. So, I’m afraid I cannot endorse such actions, even though I might enjoy them.

Benefits of membership will include opportunities to display the logo on your page, to be particularly smug about celebrity authors, and to receive free soda refills at participating Wendy’s.

As BACA members, we will strive to shun celebrity authors in the blogging world. When a non-celebrity illustrator deserves to be recognized, the BACA member may wish to consider the “Spike Lee Who?” option. For instance, a blogger might note the exceptional work of Kadir Nelson by pointing out the availability of the book Please, Puppy, Please “as illustrated by Kadir Nelson and written by some guy.” We will, as members, avoid giving undue publicity to celebrity authors, with the possible allowance of subjecting said celebrity authors to scorn and ridicule.

Our slogan: BACA off kids’ lit! It will look great on a bumper sticker. (NOTE: And now — as of August 13, 2007 — it does.)

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Monday, May 21, 2007

Stop Dressing Your Six-Year-Old Like a Skank

Stop Dressing Your Six-Year-Old Like a SkankIt would be really helpful to me as a potential author if people would stop writing books that I was clearly intended to write.

Stop Dressing Your Six-Year-Old Like a Skank: And Other Words of Delicate Southern Wisdom, by Celia Rivenbark, is a series of humorous essays within the topics of Kids, Celebrities, Vanity, Husbands, and Southern Living. I was most a fan of Kids, but all of the book made me choke back laughter (I read a good deal of it at my daughter’s ballet class.)

The title story reflects my own irritation at this particular fashion problem of moms:
We headed for our favorite department store, ready to take that leap into the new world of 7–16. Bye-bye, 4–6X, I thought to myself with a tug of sadness. My baby was growing up.

And apparently into a prostitute.
This topic is pretty standard conversations among moms who are also distressed that the first grader clothes are lumped in with the clothes for middle schoolers — and that the trend has been kind of slutty-looking stuff. But we don’t say it as funny as this:
When did this happen? Who decided that my six-year-old should dress like a Vegas showgirl? And one with an abundance of anger issues at that?
But here’s where the author truly won my heart within her writing on Celebrities:
Although the endless celebrity perfume is tiresome, it’s still not so irksome as the celebrities thinking that just because they had a cameo on Baywatch one time, they’re now ready to write for kids.

Madonna’s leading the pack with an entire series of children’s books. Whose idea was it to give Madonna a five-book kids’ book deal? What’s next? A parenting book by Michael Jackson? (What to Expect When One of us is Painfully Weird at Best or a Child Molester at Worst?)

Why does every celebrity think they should write a children’s book? Usually they’re still feeling the last bliss of the epidural when they bark at the nurse, “Call my agent! The world needs my children’s book.”

...But Madonna? Does the world really need her take on Puss’n Boots? (Then again, the original features a velvet-vested cat wearing nothing more than the vest, a smile, and some fetching thigh-high leather boots, so perhaps we have nothing to fear.)
I think we have a new BACA member, people.

The book is full of great lines and funny perspectives. I wasn’t familiar with the author, but she has written other books that I’ll be looking up soon. I like my kids’ lit, but I need to work in some good hearty laughs to keep my sense of humor in shape.

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Thursday, March 08, 2007

Thoughtful Thursday: BACA Alert

It appears that Jenna Bush has written a book. As founder of BACA, Bloggers Against Celebrity Authors, I know I need to come into the discussion. But I hesitated, and let me tell you why. My personal, primary reason for being against celebrity authors is that I think it’s greedy. If someone is already famous as an actor, singer, and rolling in dough, c’mon, just walk away from children’s literature. Just walk away. My secondary reason is that trading in on your famous name to get big book deals is unfair and kinda annoying.

So Jenna has a book deal. Honestly, I’d cut her some slack on both of my reasons. She’s not famous as an actor or singer and rolling in dough (though I do believe her family is pretty wealthy). She happens to be the president’s daughter, but she hasn’t already made her own personal stamp in the world. Maybe it will be in young adult fiction. I kind of doubt it, but stranger things have happened. So she’s not being greedy in bringing her career into kids’ lit as she has no actual career. Also, while she is trading in on her fame to get a book deal, it’s not her fault that she’s famous. So I’m not really sure I can blame her there either. I’m torn.

However...

The poor girl leaves herself wide open with these two statements (from her interview with USA Today):
“Jenna Bush, in a rare interview, says her forthcoming book for teens — about a 17-year-old single mother in Panama who is living with HIV — will end with a ‘call to action.’”

“She says she ‘very, very modestly’ hopes her book will have some of the influence of two books about girls caught up in the Holocaust: Lois Lowry’s novel Number the Stars and Anne Frank’s The Diary of Anne Frank.”
Oh Jenna, it is terribly unlikely that coming out of the gate as a first-time author that you are going to influence people like Lois Lowry or — Lord have mercy — Anne Frank. I know that you didn’t really mean to imply that you would, but the fact that you said it at all doesn’t give me a lot of confidence in whatever you’re going to write.

As for the “call to action” line, ohmigod! Do you realize how incredibily annoying it is for people living under your dad’s uncaring, uncompassionate, uninspired polices for six freaking years to hear that you want to issue a “call to action” on social issues? You want a call to action? Start with calling your father and talking to him about single mothers, HIV, and foreign aid and then you get back to us.

Thanks to Big A, little a for the all-important BACA alert. Keep up the good work.

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Thursday, February 01, 2007

Bloggers Against Celebrity Authors (BACA)

The Bloggers Against Celebrity Authors (BACA) really struck a chord out there. I’m being asked for a logo, guidelines, and a bumper sticker. Who knew?

The logo is in the works. I hope. I’ll say no more at this juncture.

Guidelines for celebrity author exceptions is tricky. I mean, first you’re letting in Lithgow, then Julie Andrews, and next thing you know Pamela Anderson’s got a book deal (title: Who’s Your Daddy?). It’s a slippery slope. The librarian host of The Magic of Books suggested allowing no exceptions for trading on name recognition, but allowing celebrities to write a book under another name. Yeah, like that’s going to happen. But I’m signing off on that rule, because it sounds good in theory.

However, I know we probably all have our personal exception, and that will be worked into the secret handshake. So, at the June membership meeting, I’ll shake your hand, wink, and say “Lithgow.” You’ll wink, and say “Julie Andrews,” or your preferred exception. Then we’ll both smile and nod knowingly. If you don’t have a preferred exception, then you can say “Carrot Top,” because that would be the funniest exception ever. (“I don’t like the work of Jamie Lee Curtis, but that Carrot Top is going places in children’s literature.”)

Fuse#8 wondered about the benefits of membership, considering the possibility that members would have free rein to whack an offending author on the head with his or her own work. While that would be lovely, it might lead to unfortunate arrests and unnecessary back strain from having to carry around all the relevant books on the off chance that one might run into Billy Joel at the corner Starbucks. So, I’m afraid I cannot endorse such actions, even though I might enjoy them.

Benefits of membership will include opportunities to display the logo on your page, to be particularly smug about celebrity authors, and to receive free soda refills at participating Wendy’s.

As BACA members, we will strive to shun celebrity authors in the blogging world. When a non-celebrity illustrator deserves to be recognized, the BACA member may wish to consider the “Spike Lee Who?” option. For instance, a blogger might note the exceptional work of Kadir Nelson by pointing out the availability of the book Please, Puppy, Please “as illustrated by Kadir Nelson and written by some guy.” We will, as members, avoid giving undue publicity to celebrity authors, with the possible allowance of subjecting said celebrity authors to scorn and ridicule.

Our slogan: BACA off kids’ lit! It will look great on a bumper sticker.

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Tuesday, January 30, 2007

BACA Off

From a post at Big A, little a, I find that Madonna has a line of children’s clothes based on her book The English Roses. That the line has been available for some time does not change the fact that I just heard about it now. And now is when I am reacting. I’m officially sick of celebrity authors.

I could complain about the quality of the work. Oh boy, could I complain. But what’s sticking in my craw is the greed. Come on, leave us our little bit of turf. If you can be famous (and usually rich) in your field of acting or music or global domination, leave the world of children’s literature for other people to become a tiny bit famous. Because you can imagine, for every book deal these celebrities strike, that’s less of the kid-lit pie for another author trying to get a break. Do celebrities have to be so greedy to take every aspect of everything because they can? Is that a good enough reason? It’s not... it’s just not... fair.

Now, I really don’t think that actors and musicians and global dominators will stay away from this tiny territory I’d like to carve off, fence in, and defend with a shotgun. But I can dream. And to that end, I initiate Bloggers Against Celebrity Authors, or BACA, and I state today, “BACA Off Kids’ Lit!”

Join if you like, if not for me, than for poor Kadir Nelson. The man deserves an author worthy of his work, and as long as the Spike Lees of the world are around, it ain’t gonna happen.

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