105 Ways to Give a Book

Blogging Break

I think I'm having a mid-life crisis. But instead of buying a red sports car, hiking through Asia, or taking up with the cabana boy, I'm just kind of not blogging. Which while preferable to the other options, is also the lamest mid-life crisis ever.

The thing is, I'm getting itchy about not working. Turns out that I need that structure and social outlet to keep up my energy, physical and creative. At the same time, my daughters have never needed me more as a patient listener, a homework taskmaster, a supportive coach, and yes, the typical taxi service. It would be difficult, but perhaps possible, to find part-time work just during the day while they are at school. It's unlikely to be work I love, but it would get me out of the house. On the other hand, one of the reasons that I've been so available at those other tasks for my girls - especially the patient part of it - is because my own time is during the day, and their time starts at 2:30 p.m. They don't need me all the time, every day, but it's been nice to have that freedom for when they need me.

Like sitting in as the adult in charge while my teen directs the middle school play. (Our middle and high school are one combined school.) I had thought that the drama instructor would be the supervisor and I would fill in when she wasn't available. Apparently, she had never intended to be available, so I've been going to school for two hours, three times a week for the last two months. And it's been wonderful. I don't mind the time imposition, because I'm not really doing anything else. I love watching my teen direct and my tween act, and love getting to know the other kids. Teen has been amazing running this show, and I've been able to help with little things, like organizing the timeline, that have helped her grow as a director. Overall, I helped the play experience which a number of kids told me was "chaos" last year, so I'm glad to do that.

I also can't help but look at the drama instructor and thinking that I could do that job. But do I want to? I don't know. Go back to the public library - if I even can - with its demanding part-time schedule of the least convenient hours for new part-time staff? I don't know. I could take a class, but in what? I could write a book, but I can barely read one right now. My concentration is shot, my motivation is low, and my energy is drained.

I should make it clear that I'm not depressed. More like uninspired than unhappy. I'm hoping that the seasonal jolt that springtime brings will get me reading more, writing more, and figuring out a few things. Cleaning the closets, literally and emotionally. But I'm not there now, and despite the mild winter, spring feels far away.

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10 comments:

Tanya Kyi said...

This may be a mid-life blogging crisis, or it may be something called February. I don't think any major life decisions should be made in February.

tanita davis said...

I'm with Tanya.
February has just got bleeeeych written on it, despite the manufactured pink-hearts-and-good-cheer of Valentine's. I see the fisted crocuses pushing up from the soil, and I know that just waiting a little longer will line things up again, but now... now's a good time to take a breather.

I believe that you would be an AMAZING influence on the children in your community as a drama teacher. Your innate love of theater and music would take you far. A fun place to explore all of those books that you love, I could see you doing some playwrighting and getting some YA classics and new stuff onstage.

Just a thought. You are bursting with verve and creativity, and hey: all your trips to NY could be written off as research! Hmmm. *strokes chin thoughtfully. On second thought, DON'T take the job. I will... ;)

Tasha said...

I agree with Tanita and Tanya (this must be a thing to do with similar names starting with Ta and ending in a!) February is a sucky time to be making decisions.

That said, I think you would love the drama teacher role. My dad was a drama and English teacher in a high school for over 30 years.

I also hold hope though that you will work in public libraries again. The trick is that we are all losing staff and money right now. Throw in the ebook crap and my goodness what a mess! But at the same time, it's definitely a situation to get those creative juices flowing or get you really pissed off. (I'm not sure which category I fall into, probably both.)

So curl up on the couch for a bit longer, wait for that spring zing in the air, and I can't wait to see what you do next!

Kelly Fineman said...

As Dar Williams sings, "And February was so long/ that it lasted into March . . . " Ain't that the truth somehow?

And yet, I have been where you are. Sometimes there's a big "what's the point" sort of crisis, and sometimes it's a small, quieter sort of thing. I'm pretty certain that the "right" answer will present itself.

Julie Hedlund said...

I kind of agree with the "wait until Spring before making any major decisions" advice. Cabin fever sets in big-time this time of year.

adrienne said...

I'm sorry for the blahs. I hope you find something that gets your energy going again and gives you a sense of what direction you want to go in and gets you writing again. I went through a period like this myself recently--I needed a project. Finally, I found one and then another and then another, and now I maybe have one too many, but I'm feeling so much better and more productive. I find I need something to look forward to, not in a treat way (although I like my treats), but in a working-toward-a-larger-goal way.

I am also very ready for spring right now, and I feel like such a wimp about it. I've been coping by eating a lot of tropical fruit.

Carol A.Bender said...

Tanya is wise. You are not alone. Congrats to your children with the play, sounds like fun.

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Charlotte said...

I hope a useful type of lightning strikes--the sort that energizes and inspires!

(I like the idea of you as drama teacher too!)

The Laughing Librarian said...

You... are me. I swear, that is how I am feeling right now and why my blog has been so vacant lately. Our winter has been comparatively mild, but hey, it's still winter, and I still hate it. Best wishes for a speedy Spring arrival for you!