105 Ways to Give a Book

Instructions And You

Every once in a while, particularly after eating about half a loaf of French bread on my own, I think about bringing down my carb intake. While cutting carbs seems impossible, I try to reduce my carb-loaded breakfast, lunch, and dinner. It’s then that I stock up on Atkins and South Beach products, until the next French bread attack hits.

I picked up some South Beach Diet Denver-Style Breakfast Wraps because it seemed like an easy way to add variety to my breakfast. It being a new product for me, I read over the microwave instructions.

Microwave Cooking Instructions:
  1. Tear open one end of pouch. Okay, got it.
  2. Place one wrap (in pouch) fold-side down on microwave safe plate or paper towel. Fold-side down, makes sense.
  3. Microwave on High for 1 minute 45 seconds. Sure.
  4. Remove wrap from pouch before eating. What the...?
The instructions could have said Remove wrap from pouch and eat. Or Remove wrap from pouch and enjoy! But, no. It was Remove wrap from pouch before eating. Which begs the question, was this a problem as they rolled out this product? Were people coming back from the marketing studies saying, “This wrap is disgusting. It tastes like plastic. Oh, you take the plastic off. Great, now it just tastes like eggs rolled up in cardboard. Much better.”

I may make this a periodic feature here at MotherReader, so if you have any great product text to share, send me an email or comment below. I’m willing to bet that this decade can give old Lather, Rinse, Repeat a run for its money.
Category: 2 comments


Anonymous said...

My favourite silliness regarding stuff written on packets is the following warning: "May contain nuts" on (you guessed it) a bag of nuts...

Well Duh !

Anonymous said...

My favorite [duh] instruction is on a bag of microwave popcorn.

The first step is "Remove outer plastic wrap." However, this is printed on the center of the bag that is under the 2 folded flaps, that you can't lift until you have - you guessed it - removed the plastic wrap.