Today I discovered that we had no honey for me to make my favorite sandwich, peanut butter and honey. And we didn’t have milk, so I wouldn’t want peanut butter anyway, ’cause what is a peanut butter sandwich without milk? Just wrong, I tell you. With a moment’s reflection, I decided upon tuna fish, and the sigh that inadvertently escaped my body at that moment of decision reflected my extreme irritation at having to take the time to make a tuna fish sandwich. You would think I had to catch, scale, and fillet the tuna for the internal reaction it caused. Changing the paradigm, I decided to time my tuna fish sandwich making process. Four minutes. And that included toasting the bread and putting some Fritos on the plate. Maybe I have that kind of time. Other things I tend to put off that I have timed:
Unloading the dishwasher: Four minutes with my kids helping, three minutes with them not helping.
Opening two days of mail: Six minutes. While eating a tuna fish sandwich, seven minutes.
Reading my email today: Two minutes.
Thinking about why no one sends me emails: Two minutes.
Going to my site to reread my “Ode to Seuss”: One minute.
Calling a friend to ask why he hasn’t read my “Ode to Seuss” yet, or does he even really like me at all, ’cause I know he is my husband’s friend, but really, I listen to all of his crap and overuse of profanity, so can’t he like spend ONE minute to check out my site after I have only told him about it four times: Fourteen minutes.
So, remember today, we have the time. Don’t make me call you.