105 Ways to Give a Book

Festivus: The Airing of the Grievances 2009

Yes, it’s Festivus, the holiday for the rest-of-us. The iron pole is up, the feats of strength are on the schedule, and now is the time for the airing of the grievances. You have free space in the comments — my gift to you this holiday season — or you can always go to the official site. But truly, it would be more fun if you did it here. At least for me.

Boy, am I full of grievances this year. I’m going to have to limit myself or I’ll be here all night:
  • Okay, okay already. I believe in The Secret and the Law of Attraction in that the chaos in my life attracts more chaos. Now MAKE IT STOP! Thank you.

  • Teachers should want to teach and perhaps even actually like kids. They should not give impossible and vague assignments — like writing a sequel to a two-hundred-page book — or two hours of homework a night to fifth graders. They should also be somewhat open to hearing the problems from parents, instead of defensive and antagonistic.

  • My dad desperately needs a hobby that doesn’t involve calling to tell me to sell my Apple stock.

  • Why oh why can’t we win? We did a great film in May, but didn’t win anything other than an audience award. My daughter did a great video for a contest, but didn’t place. I can’t even get retweets for our Snowpocalypse design, while I sift through the third version of Ten Reasons Why Your Blog Might Suck, which only serves to flame my insecurities. Three times.

  • I like our little hamster, but it drives me crazy that she constantly loads up her wheel with food and then runs, making herself into a rodent maraca.

  • My political grievances for the year are way too much for this post, but right now I am angry at the entire Congress for holding up and/or messing up health care legislation. As far as I’m concerned, they can’t leave for Christmas until they get this puppy passed. No sympathy.

  • Copy and pasted from last year: My kids are brilliant, loving, and kind, but can’t manage to put away their own stuff or comprehend that failure to do so is making it twice as hard for me to tackle the house clutter which makes me unhappy. Ditto on the husband. (Happy Birthday, Honey. Love you!)
Okay, your turn. Anyone want to start with the December snowstorm? Zhu Zhu pets? Glenn Beck?

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Abby said...

Allow me to air the first grievance:

People with loud cars (broken, screechy, muffler-less) and/or much-too-loud music in their cars (thumping bass - ack!). My apartment is near the front of my complex and right outside is a speed bump and then a stop sign. Lucky me, I get to listen to these wonderful vehicles as they slow down and stop before tearing out of the parking lot.

When I am inside my apartment with windows closed and I can hear the bass on your car stereo at 2 in the morning... IT'S TOO LOUD.

Terry Doherty said...

Oh, where do I start?

People who KNOW we have two feet of snow and call to ask if it is "gone" yet! Sticking with weather ... sleet on Christmas morning.

Spam in Cyrillic and Chinese.

The GoDaddy.com commercials followed very closely by the STP commercials. Someone needs to use that dipstick to make him S-T-O-P hitting people. Or at least stop airing it at 5 o'clock when the kids are watching adults hit each other!

The Today Show. I used to LOVE it. Now I can't handle the roller coaster of sacchrine and pomposity.

Okay, I'll stop. Thanks for the air time, Pam.

Melissa said...

I'm with Terry: Spam in Chinese and Cyrillic. Ick.

Today: my kids, whom I love and who generally are good-natured, have. not. gotten. along. since. Friday.

Toilets that won't flush the first time.


Jen Robinson said...

Right now I'm pretty annoyed with the person who copied one of my copyright-protected posts to her blog, and hasn't responded to my repeated requests to take it down. Reproducing someone's content without permission is stealing, people. Yes, even if you attribute the source. It's still stealing.

Sorry about your teacher issue, Pam. That sounds really frustrating.

EM said...


Also, I just got dinged from giving blood because my iron is too low. I AM TRYING TO GIVE, PEOPLE.

Janet said...

Delicious looking cookies and baked goods that I can't eat due to my Celiac. (I usually don't care, but I LOVE Christmas cookies!)

Crabby people who make the holiday season less joyous.

Freezing rain, just as it's time for people to travel for Christmas. (Or blizzards or flooding.) Should I just say winter?

Wealthy towns that don't bother to plow their streets. I didn't hit anyone when I slid through that stop sign yesterday, but I. Was. Not. Amused.

Must take deep breaths. Happy Holidays!

Jennifer said...

people who complain that the library isn't open christmas eve

all the toilets in the library overflowing just as we're getting ready to leave for the four-day weekend.

my apartment reeking of cigarette smoke from the neighbors.

and second abby's complaint on loud music. sometimes (ok, most of the time) i hate living in an apartment.

Susan T. said...

The weird dancing people in the various mortgage, etc., ads. Make them go away!

Michelle said...

I'm going to go with the two feet of snow, that's a winner!

I'll add:

The holiday season (which I adore, btw) taking me so far out of routine that work, house work, and blogging fall waaaay behind.

Selfish people who can't let anyone enjoy anything that doesn't revolve around them.

Hope you and the family had a wonderful holiday! :)