105 Ways to Give a Book

I'm So Sorry

Look, I know I've been phoning it in and I know that you know I've been phoning it in, but what I don't know, really, is why. It's bigger than malaise and smaller than depression. It's not something drawing my interest elsewhere so much as not being interested in much of anything. Seriously, I don't want to do anything. Even reading seems... tiresome. The easiest, best part of my day is just hanging out with the girls hearing about their days at school. A close second is petting my cat for a questionably long time. These are not scenes that lead to grand plans.

With that, I've held off on such honesty here because I didn't know where to go with it. Such sentiments seem to require a statement of some sort. An ending. Or a renewed purpose. Yet I'm not ready to commit to either.

The only decision I've made is not to do the 48 Hour Book Challenge this June. I just... I just don't want to. I'd hoped that the possibility of Book Expo America would wake me up a bit, but I think I'll be skipping that as well.

This sounds melancholy, but it's important to say that while I am struggling with my feelings about blogging and reading and what-to-do-next, I'm happy about other things going on this year. Truly. My daughters have had wonderful successes in theatre, music, and academics. I'm so glad to be working again and within a mile of the school. In my job, I was able to shape the summer reading list for my Fair County, getting some great authors some exposure. Those are good things.

So I'm not sure that there was an essential purpose in writing this, except that I don't like to leave my people hanging - or worse, worrying. Nothing's really wrong, I just don't feel quite right. I'm not sure if in saying this that I'm asking for patience or forgiveness, or maybe just what I've always enjoyed in this community - friendship.

Blog on, friends. Blog on.



Links to material on Amazon.com contained within this post may be affiliate links for the Amazon Associates program, for which this site may receive a referral fee.

16 comments:

Gail Gauthier said...


If you look at blogging as part of your career, which as I writer I do and as a librarian, you may or may have in the best, then careers evolve and change. That period when you were between jobs may have been a change that had an impact on the blog. Look for whatever changes you are interested in now, and let the blog reflect them instead of forcing yourself to adhere to whatever MotherReader has been in the past.

Ommmmm.

tanita davis said...

Something not being quite right is a reasonable assessment of things - I really feel you should write when you want, and do what you want. Find some other way to stay connected to the demographic that energizes you - or, find out if it energizes you still. If not, step back, find a new thing.

We'll still love you regardless.

Gregory K. said...

You've got the blahgs! I've had 'em. Sometimes still do. It's all okay. If something is a chore to do... and it's not mission critical... well, sometimes it's better just to give it a break. Maybe you'll come back with fire. Maybe you'll change what you do. Who knows? Since blogging ISN'T your livelihood or your family, you can take time, I figure. So do so!

Ommmmmm indeed. (ooooh, one of my captcha words is NOUNS. This satisfies me greatly. Thanks!)

Gail Gauthier said...

That was supposed to be "you may or may have in the past" not "the best" in my original post. Hmmm.

Melissa Fox said...

I understand the desire to quit... sometimes the only two things that keep me blogging are the Cybils and the kidlit community. The rest of it is just so... passe... these days.

I'm glad you're having a good year with your girls; they do seem to be doing some amazing stuff.

((HUGS))

I'll miss the 48 Hour challenge this year, though...

Jim Randolph said...

No worries. Sometimes I can't post enough and sometimes (like now) I am sporadic at best. Sometimes you need to just step away and recharge your batteries.

Jen Robinson said...

What everyone else already said, Pam. We'll still love you. You're entitled to take time off (or stop altogether) if something isn't working for you. I've had my periods of what I like to call blog angst ("Why am I putting so much time into something that I don't get paid for?" "I'm so stressed out about all these review copies." etc...). The 48 Hour Book Challenge has sometimes recharged me, but I used it as an inspiration for a little reading weekend that I did a couple of weeks ago anyway.

Spend time with your girls. Do things that make you happy. And we'll be here if you feel like popping in.

Leila said...

Dittoing everything that everyone said above. We love you whether or not you're blogging regularly (or blogging at all!).

Ms. Yingling said...

Would you like someone else to host? I'd be more than happy to if it wouldn't offend you. Have to run now, but I'll get back to you.

Abby said...

I second all the things people have said already! And I think you should do what you feel. If you feel like blogging again at some point, we'll be here!

And I also second Ms. Yingling's offer to host the 48-Hour Book Challenge (or maybe help her or someone coordinate it?)!

Pen N. InkBlog said...

Hang in there. There is nothing certain, but change.

mary kinser said...

Totally understand how you feel - I've been there myself recently and am only now beginning to get back my desire to read and blog. Be kind to yourself. Life is short and time is precious.

Sondy said...

Oh, hang in there, Pam! In some ways, the blahs are worse than something dramatically wrong -- harder to shake out of them.

Here's wishing you some sparkles! Though if it's not with blogging, that's okay, too.

And I'd be willing to help Ms. Yingling and Abby host the 48-Hour Book Challenge if you'd be okay with that.

Shelley said...

It sounds like a break is in order and completely justified. Thank you for the many times you have organized the 48-Hour Book Challenge. Not doing it this year won't take away from our gratitude. Hope things look up soon!

Carol Hampton Rasco said...

Pam, you owe no apologies, we're your friends and as noted previously by several, we've been there. Not long ago I told my staff I might be giving up some of my social media as I was finding it more enjoyable to spend more time reading (which is still WAY too little) and some of the younger staff members looked at me like "how can you mean that?" and I simply smiled and said that someday they would understand perhaps but in the meantime, I was carving out more time for me and what I really want to do. Hurray for you for carving out time to be with your girls, enjoy them...the best moments of all!

Charlotte said...

Listening to kids and petting cats are good things too...