105 Ways to Give a Book

The Dinner Preparation Theory

Yesterday I was having a bad day. The weekend had flown by without me accomplishing very much. We watched the movie Babel on Sunday night, which disturbed me so much that I stayed up way too late reading a book to chase the depressing bleakness of the movie out of my head. Monday, I felt a little sick in the morning, and my Girl Scout meeting was like pulling teeth.

After the kids did their homework, I decided to take a nap before facing the evening. I woke from my dozing state to hear several kitchen cabinet doors opening and closing. Just as I was about to get up and see what was going on, I heard (approximately) this conversation between my daughters:
10-year-old: So how is Mom feeling today?

7-year-old: I don’t know.

10-year-old: Do you think she’s tired? Disappointed in the Girl Scouts? Angry? Sad?

7-year-old: I guess.

10-year-old: That’s what I call deep depression. Now what kind of dinner is she going to make us in deep depression?

7-year-old: Macaroni and cheese?

10-year-old: No, Dad usually makes macaroni and cheese. Now here’s my theory: If Mom’s happy then she cooks dinner...

7-year-old: Like chicken and rice!

10-year-old: Right. But she’s not happy today.

7-year-old: She’ll order Chinese food?

10-year-old: No, she orders food when she’s in the middle. But she only orders Chinese food when she’s happier. You know, like last night she sent Dad out for Popeye’s chicken because she didn’t want to cook, but she wasn’t that cranky.

7-year-old: Yeah. Maybe we can get McDonald’s?

10-year-old: No, because she’d have to feel like getting in the car to get it. She’s not going to do that. I think it’s going to be... (sound of more cabinet doors opening, plus the refrigerator) Campbell’s soup, Spaghetti-O’s or hot dogs. Let’s go check.
By now I was burying my face in the pillow so they couldn’t hear me laugh, because the thing is... my daughter was totally right. They went downstairs to the computer room first, and then found me in my room, giving me time to compose myself.
10-year-old: (sweetly) Hey, Mom. What are we having for dinner?

7-year-old: (giggling) Yeah, what are we having for dinner?

Me: I don’t know. I was thinking of maybe soup, Spaghetti-O’s or hot dogs.
My oldest proceeded to let me in on some of her theory of my dinner preparations, though I don’t believe that she used the phrase “deep depression” this time. But I fooled them by making soup, frozen pizza, and hot dogs, because I am not predictable. Oh, and we were out of Spaghetti-O’s.

Kids Cookbook: Food Fun for Boys and GirlsI also decided to order the Kids Cookbook: Food Fun for Boys and Girls. I had checked it out from the library before, but hadn’t even tried to get the kids involved in making any of the stuff. Pretty much because I was too lazy. But clearly, we are in a rut and need some fresh ideas like Easy Tostada Pizzas. I mean, the word easy is right there in the name, so that’s got to be a good sign. Maybe one day I’ll advance to real grown-up cookbooks not put out by Pillsbury, but if I can get the kids to learn how to make something, that could only be better for all of us.

19 comments:

Kelly said...

That is the funniest conversation I've read in a long, long time. LOVE IT!

Melissa said...

That is just too funny.

In the realm of kids cookbooks, Rachael Ray (I know, she's so overexposed right now) had a good one for kids, too.

Jennifer Schultz said...

Oh, dear. Sounds like quite a day, but glad you got some comic relief.

The Girl Scouts almost drove my mother to heavy drinking.

Erin said...

That was great! Thanks for the laugh!

Magpie said...

Sorry you were having a bad day, but funny kids. They seem to have your number. Another kids cookbook idea: Kids Cook 1-2-3 by Rozanne Gold - it looks nice and was well reviewed someplace (probably the Times).

jules said...

That's funny. They're on to you, dude. Thanks for sharing.

zeelibrarian said...

I reviewed Babel several weeks ago. It was pretty disturbing. It would be enough to conk you out for a few days, depending on your state of mind before watching.

Liz in Ink said...

I'm cracking up. It reminds me of when my sister and I were young and we truly believed that "maybe" meant yes, and "we'll see" meant no.

whimsy said...

Too funny. Babel was awful. It had two morals in my mind: 1) No matter where in the world you go, life is rotten. and 2) Never become a dentist.
-Emily

MotherReader said...

On Babel, I'll say that my husband is quite the movie guy and will like dark "artsy" movies that I wouldn't enjoy, but this time we were both like, "WTF was that???!!!"

On my kids, yes they have definitely got my number.

Nancy said...

That was pure wonderment. I love how much kids know.

Kathy said...

I LOVE the conversation your girls had, actually sounds like something that might take place in my house!!

Haven't seen Babel yet, but I don't think I'll be running to Blockbuster to get it either!

Jone AKA MsMac said...

That was hilarious. Very funny. I hope you had a better day.

Kristin said...

I LOVE IT!!!

btw - the Emeril kid cookbook is pretty good...

Little Willow said...

Your family is FUNNY.

I told a customer about your Charlie and Lola!

The Mix-It-Up Cookbook, published by American Girls, is GREAT. First, you learn the basic recipe. Then, you are encouraged to mix it up - add different ingredients, serve it at different meals, etc.

Michele said...

Thanks for sharing that - gave me a real giggle this morning...

And I hope you're over watching Babel now !

Alkelda the Gleeful said...

You need chickens to the rescue! I keep fantasizing about chickens cooking dinner (and am tickled that in the picture, they serve the tired mother steak).

Jen Robinson said...

Too funny! Just goes to show how focused kids are on the psyches of their parents. Thanks for sharing!

cloudscome said...

LOL Isn't it great to be well known by the ones who love you and depend on you? I am teaching four year old Buddy to make mac and cheese for days like yours.