Thanks to those who commented yesterday and kicked off National Delurking Week. I truly appreciated your congratulations on behalf of my daughter, and I loved reading about the things that were making January great for you. In fact, I’m going to continue with the positivity theme with today’s delurking topic: What’s your resolution or goal or motto for the year?
For me, 2009 was a crappy year. I hate to even say that, because I can’t negate the big, wonderful things in my life. My family is generally healthy, financially comfortable, and amazingly connected. We all support each other in our individual ventures, do a lot of things together, and simply enjoy each other’s company. I feel blessed and lucky and grateful. But.
If there ever were a year where I felt cursed in a death-by-a-thousand-paper-cuts kind of way, 2009 was it. Nothing was devastating, but nothing was easy either. I lucked into someone who would look at my picture book manuscript and she left that job. I hoped to be more involved in the Junior Girl Scout troop, and had the whole thing dumped in my lap in September. I made peace with losing my job in June, to find out that additional budget cuts mean that I am never getting it back.
And it was my whole family that went through this craptastic year. Bill was promoted in his job, to find himself swamped with meetings and leading a department in an era of belt-tightening. He was thrilled to participate in the International Shootout, but it would be the one time that we lost valuable equipment. The fifth grader got a terrible, homework-obsessed teacher. The teen had her iPod stolen. It was like this all year. I’m not going into all of this for sympathy, but to set the stage for my 2010 motto:
You see, with so much going wrong it became hard to do anything at all. Everything felt tainted with history, baggage, failure. But what if I approached things this year without guilt or annoyance or despair? Instead of berating myself for not answering those emails, I could just answer them or delete them and let it go. Instead of blaming someone else for not being organized with my troop, I could just set the time aside to get things together. Instead of being paralyzed by what to do with my manuscript, I could just send it out.
It’s come to me in this year of “growth” that much of what holds us back is in what we won’t release. The tasks themselves are often less onerous than what we bring to them. Guilt. Blame. Anxiety. Doubt. Discouragement. We can’t banish these feelings, but maybe we can push them aside once in a while. Backtrack where we have to, but without issues. Let go when possible, without remorse. Start over when we can, without fear. Look at tasks and relationships differently, as if they were fresh.
What could I accomplish with a Clean Slate?
How about you?