105 Ways to Give a Book

Brunkus and Bush

Oh, Denise. Why? Why? You’ve got the whole Junie B. thing going on, and the picture book Charlie Hits it Big was a great use of your talents. I don’t understand how you could do this.

Read All About It!I mean, really, the Bush book was the best thing coming down the pike? That just can’t be. And the book, Read All About It!, is kinda crap, you know. A boy doesn’t like books, until one day the librarian is reading and real things come alive from the books and a pig comes alive and then disappears when the book ends, so then it becomes another story about searching for the pig who disappeared and everyone is surprised that he’s in the library. Not good.

On the back of the book is a picture of Laura and Jenna Bush and a “touching” quote. “Discovering a good book can change our lives forever. [Well, it’s not going to be this one.] Books offer a world of adventure, new friends, and a lifetime of learning. [Gag.] We hope READ ALL ABOUT IT! will be a window into the power and magic of books! [I sincerely doubt it.]

It’s the end of a presidency, so a First Lady book is to be expected. I can’t even work up a BACA hissy fit about that. But Denise, you should have known better. Now I still love you, but I’m very disappointed in you. Don’t let this happen again, missy.


tanita✿davis said...


Elaine Magliaro said...

If we ever needed a MotherReader hissy fit--now is the time!

Anonymous said...

Ha! I love this post!

Saints and Spinners said...

I laughed over the comment, "It's not going to be this one." I think you definitely have it in you to amuse us all for a long time with comments on blurbs a la Mystery Science Theatre, Beevish and Butthead, etc.

Anonymous said...

Ha! LOve this.

And I thought the same thing about Kadir NElson's celebrity books. Which he conspicuously did not mention at his SCBWI L.A. talk last year.

Ah well...I guess we all have bills to pay. $$$$